11日：在很多人的传记和日记中，我看到自己的影子，和他们一样，曾经陷入了世俗的挣扎和情爱的幻灭和起伏。另一个和神性更有联系的我，却超然于这些之外，代表了永恒。我更喜欢的是后者，起落之后的宁静和安详。对于宗教来说，人生之目的就是建立这和自身中神性的联系。这几年不断发展的，就是这种联系。

　　10日：在香港签证的时候，回到港大和Bill吃饭，他马上要去尼泊尔，这一年也准备在印度等地旅行。话别后颇有淡淡的伤感，在那个小池塘边停下，默默地看着，无雨燕双飞。签证比较简单，几个问题就过去了，又回到了香港，多年来一个人的旅行虽然自由，却增添了不少伤感吧。

　　9日：这两日读一本有关 bipolar disorder的书，里面写道：We all build internal sea walls to keep at bay the sadness of life and the often overwhelming forces within our minds, stone by stone, over a lifetime. 每个人的心里都有这些需要得到医疗的伤痛吧。人生真是相当的神秘，渐渐地理解了高更的那幅画。One is what one is, and the dishonesty of hiding behind a degree, or a title, or any manner and collection of words, is still exactly that: dishonest.

　　8日：文学里面其实没有什么出路，咏叹无常虽然引起了我们的共鸣，却并不能增加我么的解脱和快乐。下面的诗写得虽然美，可是10年之后依然读到同样的作品，你就知道依靠这些这辈子也没什么指望了:Edna St. Vincent Millay - Sonnet 02: Time Does Not Bring Relief; You All Have Lied

　　Time does not bring relief; you all have lied

　　Who told me time would ease me of my pain!

　　I miss him in the weeping of the rain;

　　I want him at the shrinking of the tide;

　　The old snows melt from every mountain-side,

　　And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;

　　But last year's bitter loving must remain

　　Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide

　　There are a hundred places where I fear

　　To go,---so with his memory they brim

　　And entering with relief some quiet place

　　Where never fell his foot or shone his face

　　I say, "There is no memory of him here!"

　　And so stand stricken, so remembering him!